Nine months months had passed, I can still reminisce my life at the asylum, a very tragic experience that I can never wash them away. It is like a window of the past that I can't close them inside my heart.
In the month of April when the doctor had diagnosed me that i had a giant cell tumor. I was unconscious and got panic and I didn't know what I do. We went to a public hospital near our town and they checked me up. They wasn't able to determine yet what was it and they only gave me some sort of medicine for one week. After the prescribed day, we went back to the hospital. The medicine that they gave was not effectual so the doctor decided to put me in the x-ray room but there were no available films so I decided to go to an x-ray clinic near the hospital. We went back again after one day with my aunt. I was shocked when the orthopedic surgeon explained to me that my left leg, below my knee was already eaten by a tumor and it has a great chance that the cells will become malignant and my leg will be cut-off. We decided to transfer in a more productive hospital, a kilometer away from our town and I had also a chicken fox that time. The surgeon also said that I have a tumor in the bone. He instructed us to go back after one week and he added that I must undergo operation and they will going to clean, fill out the tumor and apply bone cement on it but the bone cement was costly and I need 2 packs. I felt happy that time and hoping that my leg can now be cured. Lately, I got operated and stayed at the asylum for four days and I went home in the fourth day with the ambulance as our transportation. It was about two months when my left leg is stretched and I cannot bend it as I used to in my right leg. we went back and forth many times in the hospital for me to be checked up. upon coming home, my aunt noticed that it was like swelling so we went back the next day. It started to shed a little blood from the fresh opening of my wound. When the assistant nurse opened my wound, many blood came out and it is like a volcano that burst lava on it. It was so afflictive at that moment and every-time I carry my leg causes me to feel hurt so I stayed and sit in a wheel chair. My family and I were trembling and nervous because from that time, I gradually make blood to come out everyday. We transferred to another clinic, a private one. the doctor was kind and patient. He looked at my x-ray result and take some generalizations on it. He said that I must be operated again but heir gadgets was not complete and not compatible to use. He referred us to his friend who is a doctor in a private clinic, now hospital several kilometer away from the province but before that, I need to undergo blood transfusion yet to change the loss blood in our town hospital. A couple of days, we went to what the doctor had referred us. I was fearful and anxious from that moment. the doctor talked to my aunt and the doctor examined my x-ray results. I was puzzled if what are they talking all about. He then talked to me with a calm voice and said, " Do you know what disease is in you already? tumor is a beginning cancer but what is in you is not malignant, its a benign tumor. I will give you two options, first we will save your leg through bone grafting but you cannot bend it anymore and this is a very risky operation. Secondly, we will cut-off your leg, the affected area and replace it with artificial leg, we will do the amputation process". From that time, we went home full of grieving. I had sleepless nights if what option shall I follow. I asked God in choosing the right one for me. I asked God to give me a sign and he did it. I accidentally read one passage in the bible and say " If you want to follow me, put on your cross not for your own sake, but for the sake of many". I think many times and when my mind is settled, I have already a decision, I'm ready to be amputated.
I did not think my personal interest at that time. I thought my family's future. I did it for them even-though it is painful in my part. I thanked God that I was not depressed but he anointed and guided me to stand firm still even I am already a product of amputation. I believe God has still a plan for me.