Monday, March 07, 2011

Dear Mommy,

          Im back..Thank you for all your concerns, magaling na po ako..Salamat sa mga nag-pray sa akin and now im posting again new at sana magustuhan niyo.

Hi Mommy!

Hi, Mommy. I'm your baby. You don't know me yet, I'm only a few
weeks old. You're going to find out about me soon, though, I promise.
Let me tell you some things about me. My name is John, and I've got
beautiful brown eyes and black hair. Well, I don't have it yet, but I
will when I'm born. I'm going to be your only child, and you'll call me
your one and only. I'm going to grow up without a daddy mostly, but we
have each other. We'll help each other, and love each other. I want to
be a doctor when I grow up.

You found out about me today, Mommy! You were so excited, you couldn't
wait to tell everyone. All you could do all day was smile, and life was
perfect. You have a beautiful smile, Mommy. It will be the first face I
will see in my life, and it will be the best thing I see in my life. I
know it already.

Today was the day you told Daddy. You were so excited to tell him about
me! ...He wasn't happy, Mommy. He kind of got angry. I don't think that
you noticed, but he did. He started to talk about something called
wedlock, and money, and bills, and stuff I don't think I understand
yet. You were still happy, though, so it was okay. Then he did
something scary, Mommy. He hit you. I could feel you fall backward, and
your hands flying up to protect me. I was okay... but I was very sad
for you. You were crying then, Mommy. That's a sound I don't like. It
doesn't make me feel good. It made me cry, too. He said sorry after,
and he hugged you again. You forgave him, Mommy, but I'm not sure if I
do. It wasn't right. You say he loves you... why would he hurt you? I
don't like it, Mommy.

Finally, you can see me! Your stomach is a little bit bigger, and
you're so proud of me! You went out with your mommy to buy new clothes,
and you were so so so happy. You sing to me, too. You have the most
beautiful voice in the whole wide world. When you sing is when I'm
happiest. And you talk to me, and I feel safe. So safe. You just wait
and see, Mommy. When I am born I will be perfect just for you. I will
make you proud, and I will love you with all of my heart.

I can move my hands and feet now, Mommy. I do it because you put your
hands on your belly to feel me, and I giggle. You giggle, too. I love
you, Mommy.

Daddy came to see you today, Mommy. I got really scared. He was acting
funny and he wasn't talking right. He said he didn't want you. I don't
know why, but that's what he said. And he hit you again. I got angry,
Mommy. When I grow up I promise I won't let you get hurt! I promise to
protect you. Daddy is bad. I don't care if you think that he is a good
person, I think he's bad. But he hit you, and he said he didn't want
us. He doesn't like me. Why doesn't he like me, Mommy?

You didn't talk to me tonight, Mommy. Is everything okay?
It's been three days since you saw Daddy. You haven't talked to me or
touched me or anything since that. Don't you still love me, Mommy? I
still love you. I think you feel sad. The only time I feel you is when
you sleep. You sleep funny, kind of curled up on your side. And you hug
me with your arms, and I feel safe and warm again. Why don't you do
that when you're awake, any more?

I'm 21 weeks old today, Mommy. Aren't you proud of me? We're going
somewhere today, and it's somewhere new. I'm excited. It looks like a
hospital, too. I want to be a doctor when I grow up, Mommy. Did I tell
you that? I hope you're as excited as I am. I can't wait.

...Mommy, I'm getting scared. Your heart is still beating, but I don't
know what you are thinking. The doctor is talking to you. I think
something's going to happen soon. I'm really, really, really scared,
Mommy. Please tell me you love me. Then I will feel safe again. I love

Mommy, what are they doing to me!? It hurts! Please make them stop! It
feels bad! Please, Mommy, please please help me! Make them stop!

Don't worry Mommy, I'm safe. I'm in heaven with the angels now. They
told me what you did, and they said it's called an abortion.

Why, Mommy? Why did you do it? Don't you love me any more? Why did you
get rid of me? I'm really, really, really sorry if I did something
wrong, Mommy. I love you, Mommy! I love you with all of my heart. Why
don't you love me? What did I do to deserve what they did to me? I want
to live, Mommy! Please! It really, really hurts to see you not care
about me, and not talk to me. Didn't I love you enough? Please say
you'll keep me, Mommy! I want to live smile and watch the clouds and
see your face and grow up and be a doctor. I don't want to be here, I
want you to love me again! I'm really really really sorry if I did
something wrong. I love you!

I love you, Mommy.

                                                                          Your son,


khantotantra said...

aw. saklap naman ng kinahinatnan ni john. di man lang niya nasilayan ang mundo, kahit isang saglit.

Axl Powerhouse Production Inc, said...

so happie na oki ka na :D

emmanuelmateo said...

khantotantra: oo nakaka awa po ang bata

Axl: well, im ok na po salamat sa inyo.

MOKS™ said...

buti naman par ok kn... nga pala DSLR stands for Digital Single Lens Reflex

Yen said...

Nkakaawa talaga yung mga batang walang malay na pina pa abort. :(
While others longed for baby so much, others are just so care free to abort and throw babies everywhere. hay buhay!

Anonymous said...

touched ako.. huhuhu! bkit kasi may nanay na gnon.. im sure gnon ang feeling ng bata anoh.. nkakalungkot.

Jem-jem said...

Minsan talaga unfair yung kapalaran, me iba na gustong magka baby ayun at di binigay, me iba na laging binibigyan ng baby sila naman ang ayaw.

Unfair talaga kung minsan noh?

iya_khin said...

hi!!! nakidungaw at makikiepal! kawawa talaga mga baby na ginagawan ng karumaldumal walang kamuwang-muwang.....daming ganyan sa pinas!!

emmanuelmateo said...

Moks: ah yun pala hehe alam ko na.

Yen: yeah thats true ateh!!

emmanuelmateo said...

mommy-razz: yeha po hehe wala me ma say

Jem-jem: true..very unfair talaga

iya_khin: dung-aw?anat dung-awam met?ta ubing?hehe

Diamond R said...

i lost words...

Leonrap said...

maligayang pagbabalik!!!!!

about your entry, wala akong masabi. awa... lungkot... awa... basta un lang.

Anonymous said...

ay ito yung video na itinatakot ng mga campaigner sa guidance about abortion... waheheh natutuwa ako imbes masad kasi parang nagsasawa na ako manuod.. wahehhe... pero sa umpisa naawa din ako...

asiong32 said...


uno said...

pinaiyak mo ako...

wait for my next post...

bbtoo said...

How sad naman hay buhay talaga

Kim, USA said...

The saddest thing that happened in this world is when a mother kill her unborn child. Here in the US if you see my abortion ticker in my other blog, since 2000 America already aborted 14,406,206!! Then we asked what's going on with our country? C'mon God said you are made in my IMAGE AND LIKENESS!! And I breath to you to have LIFE!! Sino ang hinde magalit dyan?
It's been a battle here in the US to stopped abortion. So many couples wanted to adopt a child and there are a lot of solution to the problem just don't abort a child.
But since there are so many too who are too liberal and tell that an unborn child is not human yet so the mother has the right to abort it.
Kaya hinde ako surprised kung someday may malaking mangyayari sa mundo natin we are all responsible of everything that we/other do. I heard that their is a Bill that is passed by some Senators there about Health reproduction, better be not that passed that is an uncanny bill and it would create a lot of havoc dyan.
Kaya nga I came to a realization that in this generation, those babies who are born already so fortunate enough nakita pa nila ang ganda nang mundo. Eh yung iba napunta sa basaruhan! By the way here is my FB acct.

Anonymous said...

haist....kawawa si baby...

touched much :(

Raft3r said...

moms are the greatest