Friday, February 04, 2011

It's Time For Me to Let You Go

          It took me months to forget you, to get rid of you in my heart.

I tried everything from ignoring you, your calls, your messages. But damn it, none of them worked. You just seemed to creep your way back into my heart and crush it again.

What did I see in you anyway? You’re just a typical guy. Nothing special, just average. Maybe you had your way of capturing my heart, making me head over heels in love with you.

I don’t know what has gotten into me back then, but I fell for you, your charms, your sweet words. Well, who can blame me? I’m a girl, and I’m a sucker for sweet talks.

Every time you’d tell me you love me, my heart would start racing. My mouth forming a smile. Every time you’d hold my hand, the world becomes a blur in my eyes. I guess I could say you were my first love.

I remember very vividly the time you first confessed to me. You were being an ass that day. You were irritating the heck out of me. You’d keep bugging and teasing me. You were such a nuisance. Then out of nowhere, you held my hand and suddenly pulled me to your side. You handed me a note and told me to read it. It read, “I like you.” I looked at you, bewildered. I told you “Nice one dude, you really got me there.” I rolled my eyes and shoved it back to you and walked away. You came running next to me and told me you were serious. I just stared at you with disbelief. You kept telling me over and over again that it wasn’t a joke. I replied with a shrug.

A month passed. You weren’t kidding. You really did like me, but I was still unsure of my feelings for you. I only met you my Junior year and I’ve grown close to you, like my guy best friend. I could easily talk to you.

You weren’t afraid to show or express your feelings. You were very vocal about it. Not even a month later, I started to fall for you.

We started off okay, like a normal couple would. But still, I was confused. What were we exactly? You didn’t actually ask me to be your girlfriend. You just told me you liked me and showed it. You acted like one, but I didn’t know what our status were. As a girl, I’d really appreciate it if I was labeled as your girlfriend.

I didn’t bother asking you about it. Things were going good for the first 3 months. Then we had some problems. We were on and off, we had a very unhealthy relationship.

We both wanted to fix the problem and so we did. But I’ve noticed, things weren’t the same anymore. You were a bit odd. Turns out, you’ve gotten tired of me.

It hurts, it broke my heart. Just when I’ve really, really fallen for you, you broke my heart.

Right after my graduation, you called me and asked me to meet you outside. So I did. You stood there, with a stuffed animal. It had a cap and it was holding a diploma. “Congrats, I’m sorry I couldn’t come.” I ran over to you and gave you a hug “It’s okay. Thanks.” Then you took me out to lunch to celebrate.

I thought we were okay again, we were back to normal? A month later, you sent me a message. “I’m sorry nerdy, but I don’t think this will work anymore. -Your nerd.” My heart dropped. What was this about? I didn’t know what to think or do. Tears sprang in my eyes and nearly a second later, it cascaded down my cheeks like a waterfall. I cried and cried until I fell asleep.

What kind of guy would break up through a text? How stupid could he be! He could’ve had the decency to break up with me in person not a text! You stupid idiot! I hate you! These were the thoughts I had that time. I hated you, I wanted to punch your pretty little face. I wanted to yell at you for breaking my heart just like that.

The following months were heartbreaking. I’d usually cry at night or cry when I talked to my best friend. I was lucky to have her by my side, giving me advice and comforting me.

After our break up, I saw you. You gave me a nod and I gave you a faint smile. You tried talking to me but I kept ignoring you. I wanted to distance myself from you, from the hurt you’ve caused me.

After that first encounter, I’ve gotten better. I stopped crying at night and I stopped thinking about you. When I saw you a couple times again, I didn’t have that feeling of wanting and hating you anymore. It was simply gone. I guess, with the help of my best friend, I’ve gotten over you.

When I heard you moved on with another girl, I was happy for you. I never thought that the day I’ll be able to move on was that soon. I was happy and relieved. I was finally over you.

So this is how it feels to be finally over you and, after what seemed to be forever, I’m happy again.

          It took me long enough to realize that you’re just not worth a single tear, not worth my time, and definitely not worth my love. I shouldn’t linger in the past, I have to move on. My life doesn’t end just because you’re no longer part of it.


                                    This story was sent to me by my friend in Hawaii
                         From "MiMi"

8 comments:

Axl Powerhouse Production Inc, said...

letting is the hardest part of being a human being esp when u inlove pero ganun talga u need to let go and move on :D

emmanuelmateo said...

Axl: yeah tama ka po..wla ka rin nmang mgagawa pag ayaw ka niya dba.

hard2getxxx said...

good for her kasi nakamoveon na siya unlike yung iba na nagpapakamatay pa because of love or inistalk yung gusto nila.

parang yung sa movie ng moulin rouge The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. ..

pero sometimes ikaw lang ang naglolove which is hard

ISTAMBAY said...

sana inaya ko na lang si ateng sa manggahan hehehe...

its good na naka move on na sya.. kung sabagay, dun din naman pupunta, it takes time nga lang.. healing process kumbaga... ang finally.. ok na sya.. ready for another relationship.. but this time, may control na...

at ano na ba ang pinagsasabi ko aheheh..

emmanuelmateo said...

hard2getxxx: yeah tama ka..ang iba nga jan eh nag iisip ng masama na gawin sa buhay niya.

ISTAMBAY: actually, may bf na siya ngayon, matagal tagal na rin po sila.

Sean said...

good for mimi at naka-move on din siya.

uno said...

i felt the same... haaaaaay just move on... iyan lng nmn ang magbibigay sayo ng kasagutan s alaht ng bagay na nagbibigay sayo ng sama ng loob...

step forward

emmanuelmateo said...

Sean: opo buti nka move on siya.

Uno: tlga preho po kayo?hmmp naka step forward na po siya at may iba na.ehehe